Wednesday, March 23

Today is the eve of Oscar Romero's murder.  The first reading is so fitting.  "The Lord God has given me a well-trained tongue, That I might know how to speak to the weary a word that will rouse them. . . . I have set my face like flint, knowing that I shall not be put to shame. . . . See, the Lord God is my help, who will prove me wrong?"

In both yesterday's and today's Gospel, we hear accounts from John and Matthew of the betrayal of Jesus.  I cannot help but think of Blessed Romero and our actions (or lack there of) toward the poor and the oppressed.  How many times have we looked the other way and refused to acknowledge the wrongs in our world?  Surely it is not I?  Surely there is really nothing I can do?   

Jesus so wants to enter into our hearts and celebrate the Paschal feast with us, but we have to be willing to enter into his suffering and death.  Where am I being called today to suffer for the sake of those who know only suffering? How can I not look the other way?  

MOM 

 

Monday, March 21

I love the pairing of the Suffering Servant introduced in the first reading from Isaiah and the Gospel of Jesus reclining at table with Lazarus while Mary perfumes his feet with the precious oils  (and let's not forget Martha, the other Servant, who cheerfully crafts a comforting, pleasant and humble meal in the kitchen, filling the house with her own herbal fragrance as she works in skillful silence).

". . . he shall bring forth justice to the nations, 

Not crying out, not shouting, 

not making his voice heard in the street . . .

I formed you, and set you 

as a covenant of the people, . . ."

Isaiah goes on to tell us we are to live with the people, as a covenant, fully immersed, giving our all, forever.  That is how we bring forth justice.  Mary may not have said a word as she perfumed Jesus' feet with the fragrant oil and filled the the small community with the fragrance of love. When we love we crave justice and peace for all; it becomes palpable. We cannot help but be moved to do something!

The silence of which Isaiah speaks and that present in Bethany (Judas is the only one who utters a word in the gospel) is almost a foreshadowing of the stark suffering silence as we stand at the foot of the cross on Calvary and cannot utter a single intelligible word. Yet we are transformed, our world is shattered and we have the infinite power to bring justice to those reduced to oppression and neglect.

We can change the world and we can do it not only in using our voices but in the silent ways in which we live our lives -- in our generosity, our faithfulness, the respect we show to others, and the affirmation and value we bestow on those whom we meet everyday. We can elevate the poor and oppressed with a gentle touch, a listening ear, a kind heart.  I love the video that went viral of the teenager who genuflected at the feet of a sleeping homeless man and prayed for him.  It is not so much the action that impressed me, but the attitude of reverence that deeply touched me.  The reverence of Mary, Martha and the covenant of which Isaiah speaks; it is the attitude of reverence in the silence of our hearts can transform our world.
MOM

 

 

Saturday, March 19

Oh, no! We broke our consecutive string of Lenten blogs yesterday.  It was a crazy day, but a good day.  Today is the Feast of St. Joseph.  My parents had a great devotion to the Holy Family and named each one of us after either Mary or Joseph and lucky MJ was named after both. 

Jean Vanier wrote the reflection in This Day entitled Joseph's Embrace.  I could not find it on the internet or copy it from the Give Us This Day website.  It is so good, I will type a portion of it.

That is why in anguish he resolved to separate himself

from the woman he loved

and who brought him close

to light and to God . . .

In a dream, however, an angel revealed to him

that he was part of this mystery . . . 

Mary, the beloved one, and the child of the Most High

were then given to him.

In tears of joy he must have rushed to Mary!

As Joseph embraced his beloved, 

he also encompassed the child hidden in her womb. 

To me this so speaks of God's love and compassion.  He did not want Mary to 'go it alone'.  He wanted her to have a Soul Mate and for Jesus to have a physical father in this world.  It speaks volumes to the importance of men in the lives of our children.  That is one of the greatest gifts of dual income families, both parents are able to realize the gift and challenge of being provider and care giver.  Children need both and I judge parents who juggle these dual roles benefit, as well.  Love you! MOM 

The readings today make me think about impact and legacy. I think a question we all often grapple with is: Are we leaving this world a better place than before we entered it? Do we leave knowing people are more complete and whole or do we spend our time breaking others down. It is so easy to give in to anger and temptation. To be competitive or to be so focused you blaze over others in your path regardless of the consequences. Do we become a Gandhi, Romero or do we become a Hitler? I am reading a book aloud to my students right now called "Slated." The premise of the story is that the government is giving young trouble makers and terrorists a second chance by erasing their memory if they are younger than 16. If this happens to you, you become slated. They place a tracking device on you that monitors your emotional levels and if your feelings become to extreme in the negatives the device knocks you out. The students are fascinated with the story and have fallen in love with our heroine. The major question she keeps asking is: How can I know who I am if I don't know where I came from or who I was? We use this question to discuss the impact we are making and the imprint that we leave on our world and community. I tell them that the choices they make today are shaping the person they will become. We can use our history drive us but it doesn't have to define us. It is never to late to right the wrongs of our past, it is never to late to start anew, but we have to keep our history with us, let it be a part of us so we can mold who we wish to become.

I think it takes a Theologian to understand John, and I just don't have that abstract brain.  AND I am grateful that I am not lector-ing the first reading and struggling with the Old Testament names not once but four times!

Could I let myself be thrown into the fiery furnace for the sake of  my faith?  I think yes, especially today because so much around me seems to be crumpling.  I'd be grateful that the temp was cranked up 7 times because death would be that much quicker.

Could I be as willing to die for my faith even when things are going well?  Am I willing to stand up for my principles, for what I believe in?  Am I willing to make hard changes in my life to not only survive, but to do what is needed to make this world a more compassionate place for all?  I think yes.  The hard part for me is a willingness to make changes when I am not comfortable with the unknown.  Could I have gotten into the boat with Jesus? I could as long as I could take his hand.  Could I have gotten in the boat alone? I don't think so. I need a companion; I need my Soulmate.  I need to physically journey together this world hand in hand with someone.  I cannot stake out on my own, I do not have the self-confidence or security.

Tom and I had a discussion in this vein last night and I think these readings and this reflection have given me insight.  It is gift.  He is my gift.  If God were to take him away from me, I could continue on, but I would crumple on thin ice.  I would need to learn to walk again, to walk alone. I think the greatest yoke one could saddle me with in this life would be that of independence.  I have lived too long as an interdependent soul and I know what a gift that has been.  Maybe it has crippled me, so-be-it.

MOM

Readings

To me, these readings indicate that Holy Week is quickly approaching. The first reading reminded me of one of the classes I took in college titled: "The mystery of death and human suffering." On the first day of the class my professor confessed that the work that we would do in the class and the texts that we would look often could often cause doubt and frustration. It was working through the doubt and frustration that we could come to a deeper understanding of our faith and our relationship with God. The first reading is one that we looked at because it is representative of a suffering people trying to make sense of their suffering. It is in our nature to accept that bad things happen; especially to "bad people," but it is harder to understand that bad things happen to "good people." I think the mistake people often make is to over simplify suffering in making the assumption that it exists because we are sinners. It's a dangerous path to go down because it once again places God in the role of puppet masters and it makes the assumption that God is the cause of our suffering. I just refuse to believe in this version of creation and this version of our creator. God knew that when the choice was made to become human, that suffering was a part of the package because death is a part of the human condition. So when God took on human form, God openly embraced the suffering that goes along with it. I think near the end Jesus struggled with this decision. We spend our life constantly seeking the greater good and sometimes we get distracted by the temptations that come our way, death is our final step to reaching that greater good and becoming complete or one with our creator.

Saturday, March 12

To me, this Gospel always begs the Question "Would I recognize Christ if he was to be in our midst?" Probably the more pertinent Question is: "Do I recognize Christ in the people I meet?"  Do I have the courage to enable their voice and confront the naysayers as Nicodemus did in the Gospel?  Or do I believe that anyone who speaks unlike me or believes unlike me has been deceived and are the 'Other' in our lives.  I try really hard to not be in the latter category, but also find it really difficult to keep an open mind and ear in the other of this political race.  Sometimes I just have to shut it down and pray for our world.

Readings

I can't help but notice that the closer we get to Easter the more cynical the readings become. I think we as humans are born with the nature and desire to do good and believe in the good, but I feel our culture and our world work against that instinct. I had to re-read many parts of the first reading and I found myself feeling sad because it was so hard to the Isrealites to believe that a person as good and as pure as Jesus could exist. When people accomplish something or are successful or happen to be naturally good at something it is often a reaction of others to question the accomplishment or the ability.  I think a lot of this arises from feelings of jealous or insecurity but the way in which people act upon these feelings can be so damaging and painful. I also see the cynicism regarding how people talk about Addy and the milestones that she reaches. Some people delight in the joy that I express as I see her grow and develop but so many others make negative and jaded comments.They see her mobility as an end to my freedom. Her talking as an end to my peace and quiet. It just makes me sad. I have one co-worker that goes as far as to say that as she develops she needs me less and less and pretty soon I will wake up and she won't need me, or want me. I just refuse to buy into this line of thinking and I refuse to see her development as a negative for me. When did it become so hard to delight in the miracle of life! Motherhood has definitely been the hardest shift in identity that I have ever encountered, but it has also been such and incredible and amazing journey. I just hope and pray for a world that learns to just in the good of others and believes in the vision that Jesus envisioned. The change has to begin with the individual and it is a daily choice that has to be made, but if the Church as a living body of Christ could commit to this vision and conscientiously make this choice, imagine the hope that could give the world.  

The gospel of today is definitely above my pay grade ; )  I went to the reflection to see if it would give me a hint. It was written by the editor of This Day  who very humorously paraphrased the first reading.  It was good and fun, but not really enlightening.

Harriet Tubman was the 'Blessed of the Day.'  She died at the age of 94  on March 10 after freeing 300+ slaves in 19 trips.  It is ironic that she, like Moses led the people to the 'Promised Land.'  It is amazing she was able to free so many in the dead of the night.  She was a strong woman and the beatings she endured as a slave likely gave her an inner strength  of steel to accomplish so much in her life time.

The book of Exodus is a thrilling love story.  God was ready to punish the Israelites for good over the whole molten calf thing.  He had formed Moses as a Leader and Moses had witnessed God's love many times over.   When God seemed as if he had had it, Moses stood up to God and essentially said, "Good Lord!  Not now!  Give them one more chance."  If I had been Moses, and 'God had spoken' to me, I do not know if I would have had the courage to stand up to God and plead for one more chance. I think I would probably have run down the mountain with my hair on fire!

How often do we give up on God and not plead and beg one more time?  I think of those who have left the Catholic Church over the priest scandal, over divorce and Gay Rights.  Maybe God is calling us to plead and to beg one more time, to prove his infinite love.  It really is a dance of love!
MOM

Can a mother forget her infant,
be without tenderness for the child of her womb?
Even should she forget,
I will never forget you.

After reading the first reading, it was hard for me to turn the page and read the gospel.  I love the reading from Hosea.  The long prologue really sets up the and final lines quoted above.  I just wanted to savor the moment and ponder them.  These lines and those of Mary spoken at the Annunciation, be it done unto me according to your word are some of my favorite of the Old Testament.  They touch the maternal instincts in me deeply.  This is how I know God, how I experience His love.  Nothing more needs to be said.

Tuesday March 8th

I love the first reading for today! Water is such a powerful symbol throughout the entire bible. I have found it easy to connect with faith and God through nature imagery. I think being raised in Wyoming and spending so many summers backpacking through the wilderness, as well as all the time spent at the cabin has helped to develop my sense of awareness of God through nature. Rivers in general become such a powerful symbol because the water is always flowing and changing, but I especially love that in today's reading the water flowing from the East becomes more pure as it enters the west. It becomes the life source for being. It isn't that way from the beginning, but becomes so overtime. We are not perfect but we are constantly called to move toward perfection. This is a calling that is answered throughout a lifetime. Some days the pull is more powerful than others. Somedays we stumble or even fall. But the invitation for growth and fulfillment is always present.

Lo, I am about to create new heavens

and a new earth;

No longer shall the sound of weeping be heard there,

or the sound of crying;

Doesn't this sound wonderful!  Isaiah certainly gives us cause for hope, even when things seem really bleak -- whether it be climate change, destroying our physical earth or the unmasking of blatant racism in our nation.  I'm afraid if we wait around for this new world to magically appear we are probably missing the point.  

Sr. Julia Upton, RSM states in her reflection in This Day  that Pope Francis' encyclical on the environment reminds us that "the human environment and the natural environment deteriorate together" AND it is our obligation to care for the most vulnerable.  We are challenged to become partners in creating a world in which there is no more weeping or crying.

Last night at our couples pot luck we had hoped to attract couples who might be interested in making the Weekend.  We wanted to provide an opportunity for our Encounter community to help to invite them onto the Weekend.  One couple looking for a ministry, a more active role in the church did show up.  We were blessed by the presence of 2 other couples who were looking for support, community and the gift of acceptance and belonging.  I don't know that they have the skill set to be able to fully receive the gift of the Weekend, but we were elevated in their presence, their humility, honesty, their desire to be loved and accepted, and their heartfelt prayer at the end of the evening.  They were some of the most vulnerable among us and we were the recipients of the greatest gift of the evening.  Fr. Lucas recognized it and practically begged us to continue reaching out.  It was work and I felt stressed and worried about the success of the evening.  At the end of the night I saw us as the workers in the vineyard, working alongside the Master for the entire day for equal pay.  If this is what it takes to create a new heaven and earth, to see with new eyes, I think we are in.

Saturday March 5th

Readings

I liked todays readings, although I am not often attracted to the "we are sinners" mentality I think the message surrounding humility is an important one. It is so easy to get into the rut of thinking that you are justified and everyone else is in the wrong. I think a lot of conflicts would be easily solved if both parties were willing to look at their role in the situation and take honest ownership of their own mistakes. We all want to be seen as the victim and yet no one want to be victimized. I think God's message or desire is that we be aware of the impact our actions and decisions make on this world and that we own up to our faults, but I think also our successes. I do not believe that God wishes we live a miserable existence, one in which we deny ourselves all of the gifts in which God's love and this world has to offer. Rather I think it is important that we keep a clear head and an open heart and tune in to each others needs.

"The first is this: Hear, O Israel! The Lord our God is Lord alone!"

As I was reading these readings I first thought, how great it would be if all truly loved their neighbor as they loved themselves.  What a wonderful world!  Then the devil caught my attention -- What about those who do not love themselves, those who have never been loved or taught to love, and those who are narcissistic and love themselves for all the wrong reasons? There have been many times when I have been frustrated, pressured with a deadline and my love of self is pretty tarnished. If I treated others the way I treated myself at those times the world could be a pretty miserable place and my beautiful world view started to crack.  

As I prayed the psalm refrain over and over again I heard our God calling to the Israelites, to me, to hear Him.  As I re-read the verses I heard the call of a merciful God pleading with us to hear Him, reminding us of His mercy, begging us to turn back to Him.  It was then that I re-read the gospel and read "The FIRST is this . . ."  Ahaa!  a light went on.  When we "love the Lord our God with all our heart, with all our soul, with all our mind, and with all our strength" we are filled with a gentle mercy, power and forgiveness of ourself and others. This allows us to (again) see ourselves in the image and likeness of the God who so lovingly created us.  It is then that we are told the SECOND is this: "Love your neighbor as yourself." In context, we are being called into relationship with a God who loves us unconditionally and asks us in turn to extend that same gift of unconditional love to our neighbor.

BTW, Love your neighbor AS yourself -- AS God loves you -- without condition, without qualification, no strings attached -- as we taught our children -- "no ifs, ands, or buts, just do it!" What a wonderful world it could be.  On the Weekend we teach couples the sign of their Sacrament is their unconditional love for each other -- the rest is frosting -- it always amazes me that our command, our role in life as husband and wife could be boiled down that simple and at sometimes times be so challenging! MOM

Thursday March 3rd

Readings

"And if Satan is divided against himself, 

how will his kingdom stand?"

This phrase from the gospel really struck me as telling of our society and where we are at as a community, a Church, and a world; especially following the first reading with the frustration that the Isrealites cannot follow the commands and the law of the lord. Its difficult to fully embrace this message but I do think so much gets in the way of building the kingdom of heaven. There has been so much drama at my work place lately it has really impeded my ability to do my job to the best of my ability. People have been mean and heartless. Spreading rumors and lies to cover their own mistakes and their own insecurities. I was in tears on Tuesday telling my principals that I just want to do my job but I can't because of the adult behaviors in the building. It's never easy to work with others especially when peoples egos are vulnerable to scrutiny, and yet I have such a strong desire to change the culture and shift the thinking that no matter how awful it gets I know in my heart I just can't quit.

I love the end of the first reading from Deuteronomy:  "However, take care and be earnestly on your guard not to forget the things which your own eyes have seen, nor let them slip from your memory as long as you live, but teach them to your children and to your children's children."

Maybe it is the welcome relief from the negativity of the previous days readings.  I felt uplifted and affirmed as I reflected on it.  Hearing that our past, what our eyes have seen is important validates who I am as a person living in the present.  I clearly cannot change the past.  It is important.  It has made me who I am today. It is all gift -- the good and the bad and everything in between. I know that my parent's faith, their social justice values as 3rd Order Franciscans, even mom's decision to quit her job when she married my dad, not just to raise kids, but to affirm him in a lesser paying job as the provider for the family have influenced me. It was not my dream or lifetime goal to stay home and raise the family.  I wanted to work side by side with Tom as an equal partner in medicine and in raising the kids.  It did not work out that way and mom's example has been a source of great comfort in the path I followed.

When we embrace our past, we give our kids a gift that they will never be able to personally experience except through us.  Their experience of the past is through the filter of our lives. This is how we teach.  I am blessed by mom's humility and dedication to raising a family. Yet my choice to do likewise is a cross that I bear in that I am not seen as an equal, nor am I an equal in the workplace and medical community. In life we all have a cross to carry, weaknesses and battles that we face. We can choose to carry our crosses or let them drag us around instead. This is the gift of both past and present that I can pass on to my children and to my children's children -- to embrace my past and live my life fully in the present.  It is not a one-time gift, it is a process, with installments up until the day I take my last breath. This is the way we teach.

These readings are filled with so much violence -- both yesterday and today -- and we see it in our world, in our 'entertainment' if we can call it that, in our politics, the list could go on!  All I could think of yesterday was Naaman was a Syrian.  How ironic is that!  He asked for help, to be cured of his leprosy and the prophet Elisha cured him -- a miracle.  Today, Syrians risk their lives and those of their wives and young children and ask only for a place to live, to work for bread to eat and they are held in suspicion. They are not one of us. 'It' would put us out. 'It' would be a drain on our economy. Where is our mercy? I do understand 'it' is not one leper but thousands, but I believe we are stronger than that.  We are called to love and mercy, we do not have to be perfect, but we are called to love and God will raise our love above the ordinary if we trust in Him.

In todays readings we often hear homilies focused on forgiveness and the one who forgives 70 times 70 is elevated as the model of mercy.  As I read them today, I was struck by the bullying that is so rampant in our society -- you saw it in your classroom last week, and probably everyday in your classroom.  I have seen recent ads focused on supporting, affirming and picking up the bullied, befriending them -- but what about the one who instigates the bullying?  Children who are bullied and go on to thrive do so because they know there is an inner beauty deep inside, God is within them.  They can forgive, they can turn the other cheek when the entire world hurls insults at them; they have learned what it is to be loved unconditionally. How can we replace the insecurities deep within the bully, and for that matter within ourselves with self love, a believe that we are lovable because we are -- period!  We all harbor insecurities.  Call it Original Sin; the nagging thought that deep within we are not good enough, not pretty enough, not strong enough, not smart enough, we'll never be successful -- we are flawed.  We learn to put the other down in order to build ourself up, to cover for our insecurities, so we can face the world.  I must admit it would be easier to foster 100 Syrians than to take on the task of conversion to self love of one bully.  Both have the potential to affect thousands.    Both have the potential to change our world.  So what is the question -- Who's world can I change today :) ?